he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
