You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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