I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
