I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
