Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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