carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You've changed since you got that strap on
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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