Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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