sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
