I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
