In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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