dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
