You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
