The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
