could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize