You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
