Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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