I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
