just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
