My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Drunk is not a location!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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