my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
