Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I wish there were birth control emojis
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
