White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Randomize