i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It's official drugs can't kill me
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
