Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
