quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
