I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
