Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
