I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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