Plan B is the new Plan A
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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