you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
