Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
