I wannas sexs uuuuu
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
