the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
