i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
