I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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