I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
