dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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