hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
