1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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