I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
