we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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