i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
