Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Everyone says I win the strip club
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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