Who did Billy Mays play for?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
