Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
