it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
