can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
