i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize