i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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