i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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