feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize