sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize