You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
