is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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