this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
