I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
