i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i think im in europe. pls send help
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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