worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
