She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize