Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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