I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
