I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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