i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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