Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
