do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
