OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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