i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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