Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
