what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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