the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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